Stronger Than Your Boyfriend
Stronger Than Your Boyfriend
Why Eating More Won't Make You Fat Re-Release
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
This week, we are re-releasing one of our most popular episodes of all time, Why Eating More Won't Make You Fat.
Of course, calories in vs calories out matters. Mathematically, it’s the most important factor when it comes to losing weight (mass). But, it isn’t the whole story. Especially when the goal is actually fat loss, not weight loss.
Are you chronically under eating and unable to build important muscle in order to actually increase your metabolism and build?
Get out of the cycle of constant dieting and chronic cardio.
In the episode, we talk about our experience with under eating, overexercising, stress, and fat loss. We touch on our mission to help people (especially women) fuel themselves appropriately so that they can get stronger, train smarter, and live longer, pain-free confident lives.
Grab our reverse dieting guide or our guide on Finding Your Maintenance Calories if you want to learn more about getting out of the cycle of dieting or chronic under eating.
Want More?
Welcome to the Stronger Than Your Boyfriend Podcast. This week we wanted to re-release one of our most popular episodes. Why eating more won't make you fat. Yes, calories matter, but we as humans, especially women, have other factors that impact our weight fluctuations. So we decided to relaunch this episode. Enjoy. So generally, when you hear about weight loss or fat loss, um, the general rule of thumb, right, is calories in versus calories out. That's what we always hear. However, this isn't the whole story. Uh, we need to think about hormonal health, stress levels, and food quality because this also dictates whether or not you're gonna actually build muscle or lose body fat.
SPEAKER_00Okay, so yeah, let's break this down and let's talk about why we think women especially, men too, should be eating way more. Um, okay, so if you are eating 1200 to 1,500 calories per day, first of all, you're eating like a small child. That is the caloric um requirement for a small child, probably under 10, you are chronically starving yourself. Even if your goal is fat loss, you need to focus on building muscle first. And how do you do that? You have to eat more, you have to provide your body enough nutrients to build the tissue that you want. Because let's let's look at it this way: even like I said, if your goal is fat loss, if you don't have much muscle and you try to go in a deficit, you are going to look skinny fat. And I can guarantee you that that number on the scale is not going to reflect how you actually want your body composition to look. Okay. So most women and again, people in general, um, when you want to lose body fat, you we start like, okay, let's find your maintenance calories, right? And I say, you know, uh, most of the time people are maybe at 1500 calories. So in order to be in a deficit, they're gonna have to drop down to 1200, right? Okay, all right. That sounds pretty sucky. All right, and then your body's gonna adapt to that. So then you're going to have to drop down to a thousand. Okay, well, that sounds fucking miserable. So, like you see, my point here is that this is not sustainable. So, you're like I said, your metabolism adapts to this new normal. It's not a bad thing. Your body's literally wired to survive. Okay, so this is actually a good thing. Your body is slowing everything down because it thinks it's in a famine, right? So if you're constantly eating less and moving more, your body's going to adapt to that. And for us l women especially, this is going to really mess up our hormones if we are eating like a bird most of the time. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, this cycle of you know, constant dieting and cutting and cardio and all that um can really cause hormonal issues, especially in women. Um, it's gonna potentially cause chronically elevated cortisol levels, um, thyroid issues, all that type of stuff. And we understand the science says calories in versus calories out, right? But that statement in itself is not taking into account the whole picture. And it's not understanding that people are not calculators. Like we have a lot of other things that impact both our emotional state as well as our caloric intake and our gut health. And these other factors play a huge role that we're ignoring if we're only looking at calories.
SPEAKER_00So why don't you give them an example of what happened when we were living in Chicago, your job, and then when we moved out to Colorado, what happened to you, Heather?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, definitely. So um, when we were in Chicago, um, I was training for powerlifting, while also I was a group fitness manager at a gym and I was teaching 15 fitness classes a week. So you can imagine four to five days a week of, you know, powerlifting training and then 15 group fitness classes a week. And I was basically in a cycle of chronic cardio from my job. And I don't think I was technically eating the best quality foods then, and I also wasn't sleeping enough because I was teaching at 5 a.m. and I was also teaching at 7 p.m. And so my sleep cycles were off. I was really stressed out, but I was getting a ton of cardio and I was burning a ton of calories. So you would think that I would be, you know, super lean because I'm burning all these calories and, you know, I'm burning more than I'm eating. It's a numbers game. But in reality, that is not what was happening, right? So when we moved to Colorado, um, I decided to switch my career back to higher ed at that point, um, which I've since left. But then we I took on a job that was a lot more sedentary. I mean, it was still somewhat active, but it was way less. And I was no longer teaching a bunch of group fitness classes. Like I went down from 15 to I think I started teaching like two. And they were more like coaching. I think one was cycle and then one was like a coaching circuit class. So a lot less cardio, right? And I also was sleeping better because my schedule was better. And what happened was I actually lost body fat like fairly quickly over a few months because I wasn't doing as much cardio. I wasn't stressed out about it. That was the biggest thing. And I was focused really only on my like strength training. And my calories didn't really change during this time, but my sleep and recovered recovery improved drastically and my stress really decreased, and that caused me to kind of, I guess, lean out.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. So essentially what we're trying to highlight here is that she didn't eat less calories to lean out. There are a lot of other things, again, that you need to take into account. And uh, if she maybe like, do you think uh if you were eating more even like that this would have combated like all of the the the inflammation you were holding on to and you know basically would have fueled you more for all the the movement you were doing.
SPEAKER_01I uh yes and no. I think there were a couple factors in there. Like, yes, I probably should have eaten more. I mean, I was over 2,000 calories for sure. Yeah. Um, but I think I probably needed over three. And I think even if I did that though, the fact that I was like stressed about the cardio, yeah, I really think that plays a bigger role than we think. Like I wasn't looking forward to teaching sometimes. Like I was like, oh, I have to go do this thing, which is how a lot of people feel about cardio, right? And so that was, I think, part of it. And the sleep. The sleep is huge. Like, yeah, it took me, you know, a long time to get my sleep in order. And if you're not sleeping, you're not recovering and you're never gonna, you know, see results. So that's like step one.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Yeah. Like for most people, less is more when it comes to working out because we are all so chronically stressed out. Like, even if you don't feel it, like we're constantly looking at screens, like we're not really spending a lot of time in nature. We have jobs, we have kids, like all this stuff adds up, even though it's not like, you know, you may not feel like it's emotionally taking a toll, but it is. And you need to eat more, you need to provide your bodies with nutrients. And how do you do that? By fucking eating food. And we're not talking about shitty foods. I'm not just saying like go ahead and eat whatever you want, because you know, we said, oh, you know, eating more won't make you fat. Yeah, it will if you're eating a bunch of processed garbage. But if you're eating more nutrient-dense foods and you're getting enough protein, your body is going to be like, oh, we're not in a famine anymore. And it you will go from surviving to thriving. And uh I would say, like, your like Heather's example here, like I I feel like it happens all the time when we see like with people in general. And it's uh along with the strip like stressing about cardio, I think people have that same stress around food. And yeah, it might be like slightly stressful for you to start eating more because you think you're gonna, you know, hold on to all this body fat. And oh my God, calories in, calories out. Like the more I eat, the more I'm gonna gain body fat. But I can guarantee you, just because I've experienced it, I've seen clients experience it, when you start eating more, you are going to feel amazing because you are fueling yourself and you are going to look forward to those calories and you are not going to be stressed out about eating more because you are gonna feel better and you're gonna really look pretty fucking good if you're resistance training, which we need to touch on as well.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I think another point to cover, like all of these people out there, these experts um who, you know, tout the calories in, calories out, they're like, oh, brilliant. If you eat too much broccoli, you can gain weight, you know. But the reality is who the fuck is gonna do that, right? Like who's gonna go out and eat so much broccoli that they're over their children? Right, right.
SPEAKER_00Tell me if you can stomach it. Right, pew.
SPEAKER_01So, like our whole thing is a combined approach of um not just like slowly increasing your calories um to reverse diet and whatnot, but also like focusing on nutrient-dense foods that satiate you and make you feel good, and then you don't really overeat. And so you're increasing your calories in the right way, if that makes sense.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. You have to provide like you your body needs nutrients, and how do we get those nutrients? Ideally, through food. Um, and yes, like if you're deficient, you can, you know, find some supplements that you need, but ideally, you want to get most of your nutrients through food. So if you are adding in calories and eat starting to eat more, but it's you know, bagels and chips, like you're probably, yeah, you might gain body fat because it's not what your body wants. You're basically eating empty calories. Like you want the calories that are gonna fuel your bodily systems in your muscle, and yeah, you're just gonna feel better in general to move more and be a person. I wouldn't say they're empty, they're not empty calories.
SPEAKER_01Okay, they're calories that are gonna convert to.
SPEAKER_00I mean, yeah, I mean empty as in they don't provide you any nutrients. Right. Well, very minimal nutrients. So let's say that. Um, but yeah, I mean, just like you know, I've touched on before, like over the years, I've been coaching for 10 years now, and man, I've had a lot of clients, women in particular, who we got to start eating more, doing less intense cardio, got them on a solid resistance training program, and it's like clockwork. It is like almost magical that their body composition drastically improves. And really, it's not magical because you have to be consistent with it. But if you eat more food and you're doing all the right things, you're managing your stress and lifting weights or doing resistance training, you're gonna see the results that you want.
SPEAKER_01So, and I think there's a lot of pressure on women in general, but also women in the fitness industry. And I know that a lot of our clients are other trainers or instructors, and I know there's a lot of trainers and instructors that are probably gonna listen to this podcast. And if you're feeling lost, it's okay. Yeah, we we are talking to you because we were there. We've been there many times. Yes, like you, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, okay, yeah, but if I eat over 1,600 calories, like the scale goes up and I can tell like my clothes don't fit the same and I'm gaining body fat and la. And I think that um we'll touch on this a little later, but that's the importance of working with someone on this to help you like snap back to reality and understand the process. Yeah. Um, but you know, if you're in that kind of 1200, 1500, even 1700 calories and really active and you, you know, it's just super low, or you feel hungry and unsatisfied at your current maintenance calories, this is when reverse dieting really, really comes into play. Um, and and consider how long you've been in this like chronically low calorie state, right? If you've been in this state for years, your body is going to be sensitive to this increase in calories. Um you may have to do it fairly slow if you don't, you know, want to see a lot of body fat gain as well, but you still need to do it. You have to think big picture. But um, if you're building muscle, this will help with that as well, right? If you're resistance training along the way. So if you've been cutting for like a month, you know, you can probably reverse diet pretty quickly without while gaining like minimal body fat. But if you've been at a low calorie range for a long time, this is gonna be a slow process and you gotta play the long game. But it's also individual, depends on the person. Um, and it's really hard to do it alone again. So yeah.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I like it just ask yourselves, you guys, like if this is you and this is really resonating, do you really want to walk around with low energy like you're starving all day? Are you gonna go like on your deathbed? Right. I know we're not thinking about that right now, but it's gonna happen one day. And are you gonna say, man, I wish I would have dieted more? I wish I would have had, you know, even less energy to play with my kids or do all these activities that I wanted to do because I was obsessing about the number on the scale. Like, yes, it is so different for each person. Like, you need to figure out, you know, where you've been and where you're going in the grand scheme of things. But like that's why we always preach hiring a coach because they're gonna be able to provide you some objective feedback. They're gonna say, look, like this is our goal. Like we have a bigger picture now, and we need you to stick to this because otherwise you're just gonna be in this fucking cycle, like starve yourself and you know, try to add calories, but oh my God, like I gained two pounds on the scale, then I'm gonna starve myself again. And it just, it's a fucking shitty way to live. And another thing that I will say, like, if you really do this correctly, like you're training hard and you're managing your stress and eating the right foods, and you start to put on muscle, well, guess what? You're gonna be able to go on vacation and basically fall off the wagon for maybe a week, and you probably won't put on much body fat because that muscle is kind of like your cushion. Like you are burning more calories at rest, right? So the more muscle you have, the more the basically the the higher your metabolism is. And obviously, we know that's not the scientific term. This metabolism is very um um complicated, but essentially that's what happens. Like it gives you a little bit of cushion, so you'll be able to enjoy your life more. Like you can maybe go out on the weekends and have a couple drinks, and yeah, I mean, it's just like take a step back and and look at the big picture. Like, are you really happy with your life? Like eating this low of calories because it sucks.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, and I think we're all, you know, in America specifically, obsessed with quick results and progress and yeah, this shit isn't quick, you know, these quick turnarounds and this, you really have to step back and think about the big picture. I would say think about in a couple of years, right? So, like, okay, for me, you know, I'm about almost 35. And I like to think oh my god, you're so old. Yeah, I know. I like to think about, no, I'm super young. I like to think about when I'm 40. Like, what do I want my life to be like when I'm 40? Because that's five years from now. And so, like, where do I want to be and how do I get there? And then you reverse engineer it, right? And that may seem for some of you like holy shit, five years away, right? But like, I want to feel like a badass when I'm 40. I want to be, you know, the hottest, strongest, most awesome me. I want to feel that way. I want to look that way if I can. And so I'm thinking about it from the big picture. And I think that's how people need to approach, you know, their nutrition is not just where can I be in six weeks? Where can I be after this 12-week challenge? No, where can I be in a few years where I am happy, healthy, strong, confident, I look good, and I'm not freaking starving.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. Like that's where we want to be. Yeah. Well, I'll talk about my experience because I have done a few reverse diets and in started, you know, trying to put on muscle and then, you know, went into a cycle of losing body fat. Like, it is such a long process. And let me tell you guys, like, I was in the same mindset. And this was like, I don't know, five to seven years ago. I don't know. When I first started training, I was really young and I was, you know, I fell in the same boat. Like, okay, I got to eat less. I'm gonna move more. I was moving a ton because I was um just starting out, training in person, like training at all hours of the day, like trying to get clients, trying to make money. Uh so you know, to survive. Um, but it and I fell in the same trap, like, oh, okay, well, I might as well just start moving more and lifting more days a week and eating less. And then hit workouts.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, like hit workouts.
SPEAKER_00Like that fucked me up like way more than I even could ever think it could. That sentence really wasn't a sentence, but you get what I mean. Um so one day I was, you know, I started learning about reverse dieting, and I was like, holy shit, like I really need to do this. I was at like 1200 calories at one point and had a a lot more body fat than than I needed. And, you know, this is not be being obsessive about it. I'm saying I was at an unhealthy level of body fat and I needed to lose it. Um, so I was like, shit, I really need to do this. And for me, I once I commit to something, I go all in and I totally understand that not everyone has that same mindset as me. I'm very, very consistent. So I literally probably that same day I shifted my mindset. I'm like, okay, I'm not gonna focus on losing body fat. I am going to focus on reverse dieting and building up my metabolism. I got my calories up to that first time I did it, like when I had this realization, to about 2800 calories. And I knew it was time to stop adding calories because I was like full like all day long. Now, like for the amount of muscle I have now and the amount of activity I do still like during the day. And again, this is me not doing cardio. This is just because of my lifestyle and my job. Uh 2800 calories like feels like I'm, you know, be maybe satiated, but I could probably eat way more. So like it's just crazy how building muscle can really, you know, speed up your metabolism like more than you think. And it took years to to build it and dedicate, you know, I've dedicated, you know, years to this, but it's just, I just wanted to highlight that. But once, you know, going back to the the first time I reverse dieted, I got up to 2800 calories. Like I was pretty stuffed all day and I was like, this is good. But the the important thing after that is that you don't want to just go right into a cut. You have to let your metabolism and your body adapt to this new normal. You want your body to think that, yes, I am thriving. This normal is providing me with about 2,800 calories a day. And I, there is a good amount of food here. So you have to let your body adapt to that for a few months. So even though you might, you know, get your calories up, just you know, you might think, okay, let's just do this really quick and then I'll go right into my cut. No, you have to let your body maintain at that new normal. Like your body needs to get back into homeostasis. So after that, after I did that, then I went on a little cut cycle. And it wasn't even that long. I would say, shit, I don't even think it was 12 weeks because I was like, man, I really liked having all this energy and building muscle. So, and it kind of just from there, I'm not gonna go into every story about how I've done it. Like, your your life ebbs and flows, and these cycles will ebb and flow. Like, you know, different times of your life are you might have to eat more, and different times you might eat less. Like maybe you're, you know, you have a wedding coming up and you do want to look cut. That's great. Like a four-week cut is fine if your calories are high. Like, we're not shitting on, you know, people who do want to go into a cut, but I would say 95% of people who are doing it are doing it wrong. And you need to focus on eating more first and building muscle first, or else you will be stuck in this constant cycle of feeling like shit and chronically starving yourself. Yes, awesome. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01So um, Katie, could you just provide a brief, I mean, you don't have to give all of them because I know you did like three different reverse diets, maybe, but like a brief overview of how long the reverse diet was compared to the maintenance phase. Oh, yeah. Compared to the cut, because you mentioned the cut, but not the other two.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, I would say because I was like in that mindset shift of like, all right, I might gain a little bit of body fat because I'm increasing my calories, I'm okay with it. Um, I, you know, I didn't do an aggressive one. I probably added like 50 to 100 calories a week. And some weeks, even like, you know, if I find that everything was moving a little too fast, maybe just 50 calories for two weeks. Like again, my metabolism was pr you know, pretty low for for a long time there. So I would say the first one or each time that, you know, I've have added, you know, slowly added calories, um, I would say anywhere from like four to six months.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I think your first one was about six.
SPEAKER_00Yeah. And then I would say a good rule of thumb to maintaining that, that new um caloric maintenance that you've achieved by reverse dieting, I would say you want to maintain for at least half of the time that you were adding in calories. I just think that's a good rule of thumb. You could do it longer. I wouldn't do it any shorter than that. Um, but you know, you could, you know, maintain for six, six months if it took you six months to get there. You'll probably be, you know, revving up your metabolism even more by doing that. Um, but then like your cut cycles, like I would not stay in a cut, you know, on the other hand, um, more than 12 weeks. So that's three months. So, because again, you're just gonna get in that your metabolism is slowing down and it's adapting to this new calorie range. And you're, you know, the longer you stay in this cut, the longer it's gonna take to reverse out of that. So, I mean, Heather, you you competed in vigor, like you saw this shit all the time. Like, and I mean, when you competed, you didn't have as much muscle muscle as you did now. So, like, I didn't know what the hell I was doing. Yeah, but like you probably have seen that it's really just like yeah, like competing with other women, like coming out of off of a show. It's like, and this is obviously the extreme. Like, we're probably not talking to a lot of bodybuilders, but just to illustrate, like, how many women did you see like bounce back and they gain like 50 pounds like really quick?
SPEAKER_01And it's not just that, like the weight gain is you know, the weight gain. It it was sometimes it's muscle, but yeah, it was more of their mentality and their emotional state. Like they you can see it sometimes, even on like Instagram nowadays. I mean, 10 years ago, we didn't really use Instagram that much when I was doing this. It was over 10 years ago. So old, but um, but like nowadays you can kind of see it, like you'll see a competitor post a lot when they're really lean, when they're going up for a show, right? And then they kind of like drop off for a while and don't post a lot. And then this isn't every highlight reel, you guys.
SPEAKER_00Yeah, like no, it is.
SPEAKER_01This isn't everyone, but yeah, like Instagram is a highlight reel, right? And so, and then I've I have a few friends who can be who have admitted like it's really hard. Like, I'm still look great and I'm strong as hell, and I feel great when I'm fueling an off season, but like it screws with my mind because I'm not lean and I'm supposed to be like I'm supposed to be lean, but you're not supposed to be lean. Like that's not that's not really what we want. Women like Cute.
SPEAKER_00Yes. Most women, like, granted, everyone's bodies are different. Most women should not really have like eight pack abs, you guys. Like we are we need a little more body fat to survive. Yes. We're supposed to have thighs and breasts and hips. Curves, you guys. Curves.
SPEAKER_01That's kind of what we were made of. Yeah.
SPEAKER_00And I don't know about, I mean, I don't know about you, Heather, but when I'm eating, when I'm eating more, I'm like, fuck yeah, let's do this. I have energy. Let's do this, do that. And I'm like, ooh, food, like I love life. Like, it's just way more fun to eat more. And it's also really fun to do your workouts and be able to hit, you know, either numbers that you haven't hit in a while or that you've never thought you could. Um, like, I don't know, last week, like, I'm not trying to toot my own horn, but kind of. Um, my coach has me in this like one, one rep crazy like um pull phase. Like, we're working on weighted chin-ups, and he had me do like, you know, work up to a heavy single basically, and I did 50 pounds for a chin-up, which is a lot. Wow. And I was like, whoa, like, there's no way I would be able to do that if I were eating like 1500 calories, you guys. And I'm gonna put it out there, like right now, or we we have our wedding reception in a few weeks. And I'm like, I dropped my calories a little bit, mostly because I want to fit in the suit that we bought because my back is a little bit too big, but anyways, I'm doing it for four weeks, and guess where my cutting or my deficit calories are. You want to take a guess, Heather? Knowing you, I don't know, 20.
SPEAKER_01It's over 2,000 for sure.
SPEAKER_00It's about so it's about 2,050-ish calories a day. That sounds right. Which is crazy, you guys. Like, be I would never thought that. I'm just like, let's like make sure that you know the pants fit for this dance we're about to do in our wedding. Mostly because she's doing the splits, which is yeah, I have to be able to do the splits, you guys. Normally, like I love, like, I was eating like 26-ish 100 calories a day before this. So, yes, it's a big cut, but I have room to cut. Like, I it takes me, I feel like, years to get women to eat 2,000 calories on a regular basis. Yes, yes.
SPEAKER_01So and this is all because she spent like years at least three years building her metabolism.
SPEAKER_00And I I can tell you the best thing I ever did for my body composition was not to worry about my body composition. It's pretty fucking crazy. I hired, you know, I I started getting into like different styles of training. Like my my mentality around training shifted, and then I hired my coach and I was like, ooh, I want to do handstands, ooh, I want to do this move and this move. And and I was like having fun with it. And I like didn't really give a shit about my body composition. That's not why I was training. I was like, I want to train to be strong as fuck, and I want to do these cool skills. And then I was like all of a sudden, like my body composition was getting better because I was just fueling myself, building muscle. And it's like, oh, I can be in a caloric deficit at 2,000 calories when I was like, I would gain like 10 pounds a week, you know, like 10 years ago if I were at 2,000 calories a day. So like it takes time, you guys. I'm not saying this happened to me in a year. I'm not saying this happened to me in two years, not even five years. Took me fucking 10 years, you guys. Like, and yes, you will have cycles where you're gonna feel better and look better, and you know, but like it takes time. You just have to be consistent always for the rest of your life. Yay. Yeah, anyways.
SPEAKER_01All right, well, yeah, that's awesome. So we do have a guide on our website if you're like, wow, this is really interesting and I want to learn more. Um, it is a very, very basic overview. Um highly recommend if you're gonna go through this journey to do a little more research and hire a coach really to help you through it. Definitely. Um, just so you can get an outside perspective and have someone kind of hold your hand through the whole thing and help you through mostly the mindset of reverse dieting. Um, but if you go to our website, um I think it's barpathfitness.com slash blog slash reverse dieting guide, I'm gonna put that in the show notes so you can click directly there to check it out.
SPEAKER_00Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um, we would love to have you check that out. From there, you can also, I think, get our three-week freebie that we have where it's like um finding your maintenance calories, adjusting your macronutrients, and then um I think we go in a little bit about reverse dieting the third week.
SPEAKER_00Shameless plug. Like I have a few clients that I'm helping right now. So if you like us and me, you know, feel free to reach out. We can see if we have spots open for you, and we would love to take you on as a client if this is you, because we really it's you know, one of our missions to help women eat a lot and build muscle and stop feeling like they need to be a number on the scale because it's it's a really not cool way to live. So also join our Facebook group, stronger than your boyfriend.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I think I can put a note to that in the show notes too. But um, yeah, you may already be in it, but it's it's great. We're all there to support each other.
SPEAKER_00So we're gonna be really ramping up the content. So yeah, you want to be a part of it. So and then follow us on Instagram, Bar Path Fitness, TikTok, kind of. I guess we do some stuff there. We do, Bar Path Fitness, and yeah, cool.
SPEAKER_01Awesome. Well, thank you all for sticking around. Please remember to rate, review, subscribe to this podcast.